What did not happen for a too long time was the falling of the rain
and me – or Gijs – keeping you in the know. The first prevented many
seeded seeds form sprouting, the second prevented you from wasting
time on reading this blog and – my biggest fear – asking us why we do
not make more progress.
Yes. You would never do that. It’s all in my head. What do I really
want to say? That for me moving from an apartment in the town of
Cascais to the definitely more rural area of our little quinta in
Azoia is not only about the tangible, physical work to be done in the
field or on the houses but also, or even more, about inner work.
I find the wisdom to dare share with other people that dare share. To
ask for help (this skill is still in its infancy) instead of getting
sore and grumpy. Allowing myself a massage, Pilates or an enriching
session when I run into a ‘too hard to tackle on my own’ issue.
Wisdom also found in the company of the people staying with us.
I fight the childhood ghosts that despise leisure, join them to
explore our impressive surroundings and learn it is this I need to
counterbalance the work in the field. Work I deeply enjoy and at the
same time still find difficult to regulate because it never ends.
They enjoy the sea view and do not see the grass that needs to be
mowed. Or at least, they do not care. They enjoy the hammock and
ignore the state of the buildings. They love not to have to dress and
ignore my messy working clothes. They don’t care about things not to
be polished to the shine but instead dress and undress their own beds
and leave the premises behind ready for the next guest to arrive.
Slowly slowly I am getting at ease with our place being far from
perfect. Fighting the ghost of my childhood Saturdays that needs
everything perfect for the Sunday. That same spirit that ruled
birthday parties year after year with an iron hand and left nothing to
chance nor imperfection is evaporating with the ribbons of fog that
encircle Azoia in the mornings. And I am starting to like it.
So we changed the name of our quinta. But I’ll leave that story to Gijs.
